Lust

My hair is now evenly cut to the level of earlobe. I dyed it yesterday to dark reddish brown. I just love how it looks now. And how easy it is when compared to that 5-10 cm longer hair I had for a while. My hair is so thin and gets easily messed up - it was a constant fight with it.

I also love having back of my neck bare. I think back of neck is very sensual and erogenous place. I like to pet myself there. :)

This morning I felt something I haven't felt much during last months. I wanted to live. I haven't been suicidal all the time but I lacked proper lust for living. Today I felt it first time for long time. I want to live, feel, experience, enjoy... all that.

I'm still kind of frustrated like yesterday but I guess I'll get better. Sometimes I feel like a little child trying to get attention and taking it very personally when not getting one. Little child first pouts, then riots. Adult first pouts, then gets depressed.