Lonely After Project

Yesterday was the final demo. I held a part of it. Didn't really care too much about it. Now its over anyway. I almost started crying at the bus stop after it. When I get home I slept way over hour... Feels just void. Momentarily I have felt good but most of time I just feel broken.

I guess I know that ending of that project also removes big part of what little social interaction there is in my life. Now again no one will care if I get up on mornings.

Today I thought that I'm actually really, really self-centered person. I'm good friends only with those with who I can talk about my depression and problems. And with those I have hard time finding any other subject. Its almost that when I talk with someone I'm talking about myself. :(

I just feel so compelled to let out what goes on in my mind. And get some acceptance... maybe compassion too... but that don't seem to make good friends. I think for all my friends I'm more like a special case who just needs to be tolerated... No wonder I'm so lonely.