Today Sucks

Today sucks. I feel anxious and everything goes wrong.

I tried to paint a bit but cant seem to do it either... Expressing yourself is supposed to help but at least I cant seem to do it unless Im in good mood enough. I just frustrated when nothing seems to work and what appears into canvas doesnt match what I see in mind.

What I seem to be able to do when anxious is writing. I write like in fever. But I never seem to be able to write anything correctly first time. I make way too many writing errors. When agitated I write almost every word wrong. Need to read everything again and then again and correct spelling errors and language. Think how it looks like and so on. Wonder if it adds or reduces stress...

Left work early today because I felt I would have either started crying there or get panic attack.
Came home and I cried more or less 3 hours in row.

Im calmed down now but still feeling more or less down... :(