Exam, Nap And Shower
Dear Blog,
Its the posting time... heh... seriously I feel better now. I got an exam this morning. I went to bed around 1 am and I woke up 6:30 to read more. I went to the exam and I knew (I think at least) everything in it. After the exam I went to a market and I thought that I can afford buying something good so I bought red jalapenos, mozzarella, cheese snacks, chocolate, avocados, minced lamb - anything that looked good there - and more beer. I guess its going to be a jalapeno-mozzarella-pizza today :)
When I got home I just warmed up some lunch, checked email and such. And then I went to bed for an over hour long nap which I started and ended with an orgasm (there’s no better way to fall in sleep or wake up). Then a hot, long shower, a bit coffee and chocolate. I almost feel like a human being again.
I think I might tell a bit what happened lately in that mmorpg I'm play (you prolly don’t understand this but anyway). The society where I was there is going through changes. Active members want some changes while less active ones are against any. This resulted 2 members leaving and founding a new society on their own as a temporary solution. There almost were a consensus how things should have been changed but those two leaving pretty much ruined it I think.
To top of that I had a misunderstanding with one of the society members. He complained me about "the depressive conversation that ruled everything". I understood that he meant me. I have been quite honest with my moods there. I do feel guilty taking my problems there. I mean people go there to play, to have fun. Its just not fair that they need to put up with someone who periodically cant speak about anything else than suicide. What kind of entertainment and fun is that to listen? So I apologized and left the society too. He assured me that it wasn’t about me at all but that time I was crying already.
So now there is very turbulent situation which really doesn’t help me to relax at all. I suppose something will happen and things get normal again but I’m afraid it will take some time. I still cant make up my mind if I should or shouldn’t quit it. Clearly it does cause stress and I end up getting hurt there every now and then. But so happens in real life too. I’m addicted but I’m addicted to many things in net – to forums, to this blog, to emails – to anything that offers momentary escape from real world. I don’t think quitting would solve anything unless I would leave net totally which is nearly impossible since I need it daily for studying and for letting out everything that goes on in my mind.
So this kind of things this time. I still have lots of things in my mind I want to write about but I need to take a break for a while. I also have 3 erotic fantasies (or lets be honest and call it porn) which I have almost finished. I have a slight problem with them. I like to write in a single session. I just sit down and write it. I think it gives my own (emotional?) writing style. When I read it afterwards I always seem to like less and less it. I get stuck in polishing and fixing as I try to improve and make it better but it just seems getting worse after every change.
Its the posting time... heh... seriously I feel better now. I got an exam this morning. I went to bed around 1 am and I woke up 6:30 to read more. I went to the exam and I knew (I think at least) everything in it. After the exam I went to a market and I thought that I can afford buying something good so I bought red jalapenos, mozzarella, cheese snacks, chocolate, avocados, minced lamb - anything that looked good there - and more beer. I guess its going to be a jalapeno-mozzarella-pizza today :)
When I got home I just warmed up some lunch, checked email and such. And then I went to bed for an over hour long nap which I started and ended with an orgasm (there’s no better way to fall in sleep or wake up). Then a hot, long shower, a bit coffee and chocolate. I almost feel like a human being again.
I think I might tell a bit what happened lately in that mmorpg I'm play (you prolly don’t understand this but anyway). The society where I was there is going through changes. Active members want some changes while less active ones are against any. This resulted 2 members leaving and founding a new society on their own as a temporary solution. There almost were a consensus how things should have been changed but those two leaving pretty much ruined it I think.
To top of that I had a misunderstanding with one of the society members. He complained me about "the depressive conversation that ruled everything". I understood that he meant me. I have been quite honest with my moods there. I do feel guilty taking my problems there. I mean people go there to play, to have fun. Its just not fair that they need to put up with someone who periodically cant speak about anything else than suicide. What kind of entertainment and fun is that to listen? So I apologized and left the society too. He assured me that it wasn’t about me at all but that time I was crying already.
So now there is very turbulent situation which really doesn’t help me to relax at all. I suppose something will happen and things get normal again but I’m afraid it will take some time. I still cant make up my mind if I should or shouldn’t quit it. Clearly it does cause stress and I end up getting hurt there every now and then. But so happens in real life too. I’m addicted but I’m addicted to many things in net – to forums, to this blog, to emails – to anything that offers momentary escape from real world. I don’t think quitting would solve anything unless I would leave net totally which is nearly impossible since I need it daily for studying and for letting out everything that goes on in my mind.
So this kind of things this time. I still have lots of things in my mind I want to write about but I need to take a break for a while. I also have 3 erotic fantasies (or lets be honest and call it porn) which I have almost finished. I have a slight problem with them. I like to write in a single session. I just sit down and write it. I think it gives my own (emotional?) writing style. When I read it afterwards I always seem to like less and less it. I get stuck in polishing and fixing as I try to improve and make it better but it just seems getting worse after every change.
posted by rakastuja at 4:42 PM
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