Bisexuality

I am bisexual. Or maybe I should start using word pansexual… what it means to me is that I’m pretty much without gender preference. I have met attractive, sexy, lovable men and women. I see those attributes more as a part of personality than as a part of gender. At least I would like to think that I can take every person as a person – as an individual – not as a representative of gender. Of course its pretty idealistic to think that way. Stereotypes don’t come from nothing. Men and women (and groups inside them) do tend to have common traits. Its not purely false to say that “men are like this” or that “butch lesbians are like this”. Still I want to believe in individuals and try to keep my mind open for meeting new people.

Bisexuality is maybe the most misunderstood sexuality (I’m sure every diversity group says this). Especially bisexual girls are easily seen as “wannabes” who just try to be cool and act like they do in movies and commercials. There’s amazing amount of girl-girl bisexual flirting and hinting around us nowadays. I kind of feel uncomfortable calling such flirting bisexual. I mean hetero guys do flirt in same way – so that both understand perfectly well that its all about joking. What I have observed my friends, their flirting is joking and kind of giving attention and receiving it. Kind of preparation and training maybe. They don’t really think it as an option for flirting with a guy. Maybe that makes it sometimes so cute – they don’t have anything in stake, no motivation behind, no real fear or rejection. Its easy to flirt when it follows well known script (as it usually does with close friends). They don’t btw flirt much with me. They know that I’m bi and prolly don’t want to suggest things that I might take as something else than joke. (They do like to hug and even kiss on lips with me though :)

Then there are those curious women. I understood curiosity well. I don’t see why not to try something that doesn’t hurt anyone if you are interested to know how it would be. Bad thing with curiosity is that usually those curious girls seem to be in relationship with a guy (who is extremely interested in seeing his girlfriend with another girl) – makes me wonder how much those girls want to please themselves and how much their boyfriends. Still threesome is ok. A bit sad trait seems to be that sometimes it feels that those girls introduce themselves as single and just later suggest taking a guy with… maybe I have just seen bad examples.

Then there is those with strong gender preference. Some just can have sex with either sex but prefer one over another in long term relationship. Nothing wrong in that either. Maybe they are the real bisexuals. Maybe us, who don’t really care what gender the other is, should be called pansexual. How to make difference if you just like men and women but not transgender people or transvestites or whateverpeople there is :)

Did I just take my mumbling to real long off topic? Heh… well I’m totally lost with any preferences. I know that I tend to like people who are not generally noted to have best looks. Just normal cute people you meet every day. I like a bit boyish looking girls. Sometimes goths are really droolable. I like clean, fit traditional men. I like a bit gayish and unique looking guys. I like really weirdo girls (with blue hair and face pierced throughout). And so on. I know… I know… I prolly have identity crisis and chronic loneliness which makes me like about every single person I meet. I don’t kind of complain. I have met interesting, unique people.