Feeling Awful

I'm feeling so awful it's unreal...

I have told everyplace that I'm off for a sick leave or something similar and without telling when I'll be back.

I cant watch tv. I cant read. I cant play anything. I cant even sit still.

I have anxiety medicines but I have them for taking 1-2 pills couple times in a week. I took 4 or 5 yesterday alone. I'm out of them any day now. When I'm anxious the 2 pills doesnt make any difference. But I dont think I will get anything stronger. Maybe they are afraid that I do suicide with them. Shouldnt they rather care that I dont do suicide without them?

I just wish it would be tomorrow or next week and all this would be over already...