Exam Day

So today was the examination day...

I went to university. I ate lunch there. I read bit over hour and when exam was going to be... I didn’t go there. I just stayed at library telling myself that I wouldn’t pass it anyway and it would just be waste of time to go there. So I spent the exam time in library doing pretty much nothing reasonable.

I felt – I feel awful doing that. I really needed to hold back tears in library. I’m disappointed with myself and ashamed about it. When someone asks how the exam was I’m going to lie that I was there. I don’t know why I do that. And I don’t know why I keep it strictly secret. Sometimes I know on morning already but still I act whole day like I would be going there… This really wasn’t first time. :(

Exam phobia? Does such make any sense? I don’t think I’m afraid of the place or situation but more like the shame I feel because I haven’t studied well enough…