Useless Day

I sat crying over an hour in hot shower this morning.

I talked with H today in messenger. She did good job cheering me up again. Just so sweet person. Its pain to start talking to someone. Usually it feels that I would really need to grab someone’s arm and make them listen to me. And that’s really hard to do when you are sunken in your depression and “no one like me” –state.

TV-series L-World started yesterday on TV. I watched it a bit today. Looked really good. I like so rare TV-series. Actually I like to watch CSI, CSI Miami, 24 and Farscape. I also watch some reality series like The Amazing Race and such (not any of those dating/relationship ones – I hate them). L-World looked quite promising. It was way more hot than I would have thought. I mean more explicitly sexual. I guess it holds still what they say: 90% of all lesbian/bi themes are there for hetero males. I cant say the characters there matched too well “stereotypical lesbians” but on other hand I like it that way. Have to watch it a bit more to have better opinion on it.

I have a free day today and so far I have managed mostly to cry. I actually don’t have any idea where the whole day went… its 8 pm already and I haven’t done anything sensible today. Maybe tomorrow then. Tomorrow starts an important course. I need to be at least somewhat ok there.