Lectures, Exams, Lectures, Exams...

Now it really starts again... studying...

I’m really considering dropping couple courses away and taking this spring a bit easier. It just means I’ll probably spend one year longer in studying though… It also probably means that I need to explain some people why my studies would take that one year. A complete coming out of the closet with depression?

Somehow I doubt. I would make excuses like “they didn’t organize right courses this year or such”. Hate it. I’m not sure what I want actually. What if I manage to really do well this spring? I could graduate within this year. But then I would have to go to work. Waking up every morning, working… could I stand it? Do I even want it?

Maybe I should get only a part time job. Just enough work that I get bills paid. But then I would probably spend the extra free time at home. If I just can stand working I guess it would be best for me after all. To have a clear reason to get up every morning, to have something to think every day.

Then there is the third choice… pack some clothes to backpack and get away from everything. If I would get rid of this apartment and rent, I would easily travel a year as a backpacker. I once said that its stupid to make suicide at home. When everything utterly sucks, why not to just to sell all and go where ever you have wanted to go? I mean you can do that suicide as well at Bahamas. But I guess I’m not leaving. I’m too tied here. I love travelling but I also love being back at home.