No Ones Best Friend

I told H about my crush. Not sure if it was wise thing to do. Hard to say how she experiences that. But I cant keep it inside and I guess its better to warn. I think when I'll get into kind of desperate mood I can do something really stupid to get attention.

I'm feeling really lonely again. It will just get worse soon. When I'm in good mood I can get myself into chats and social situations. I can be initiative and start chatting. In poor mood I cant do that - and I always experience same thing - no one wants to chat with me anymore. I guess I'm just occasional friend. Good to have when I'm in happy mood but someone who is not needed around when I'm not. I don't really seem to have any so close friends that they would contact me daily or even every couple days if they don't hear anything about me. I mean usually everyone got far better friends to chat with if I'm quiet. I'm not someone they would specifically want with.

I'm no ones best friend it seems.

I got exam on Friday. Then another on next weeks Wednesday. I haven't started studying. I'm not sure I will. I simply have to pass those exams. Quite a lot things depends on them. I'm pretty sure I wont. No hope. Suddenly life sucks again a lot.