Drugs Maybe

Ok. It was a mistake to tell H about crush. Now she says cheerfully "hi" but always has something else to do after a minute or two... :(

I'm really fast running out of people who still want to talk with me...

I have an appointment tomorrow with my psychologist... Or actually with my psychiatrist. Didn't really pay attention to that difference before. I didn't even know about the difference - though that they are same but she's latter because she can prescribe drugs. And about drugs it will be I guess. About first thing I said was I don't want any drugs. I can handle this without medicine. I have to reconsider now. Maybe they would do the difference.

I just hate the idea of antidepressants. How do they differ from the dose of alcohol I take daily to improve my mood? Other than having a lot longer list of side effects... Also I doubt they change the way I think and feel. Would they just make me ignorantly feel good? Or manical? I have sometimes had manical periods when I'm in good mood and energic but I still go through same background thinking.