more people know me less they like me. even closest friends at some point will see something so repulsive inside me that they start avoiding me. i try to keep people in right distance but it never works. no one cares to stay as my friends more than couple years. everyone just lies about staying in contact and being as friends but they never contact me on their on. friendships are just lot of work for something that wont last.or maybe im a fastfood of friendships - consumed and discarded. and i dont believe it will ever change. i will just always end up being alone and abandoned.