I dont think there's many people around me who dont know how I am feeling...

And most of them claim to care..

But still.. If I would kill myself right now. After couple days some of them would maybe note that I havent contacted them in any way for a while. Or maybe they wouldnt - I dont know. After a week or so someone might actually wonder where I am. Within couple weeks some people might even try to contact me and wonder why I dont answer right away. In a month or so my neighbors would call police because of the rotting smell...

People would feel bad and so on. For some time. After that it wouldnt really make difference to anyones life.

The actual only really important thing that I value in life seems to be the one I will never get.