Thinking through everything once again yesterday:

The fundamental problem is that I interpret reactions and emotions wrong. For me it seems that people are always in contradiction in what thay say and how they act. Last months clearly show that people wont change their behavior towards me, and that they dont like me when I'm depressed and interpreting then wrong.

So there are two solutions: I need to change or I need to act like normal.

I have lots of experience of latter. It doesnt work. I do get along with people. I get friends easily. But I will always get bad phases when I'm in trouble acting. People dont understand it and they are very unwilling to try to help me trough those times. I guess it doesnt make sense at all to them since they have been friends with the acted, false me, and when I cant keep it up I'm no longer the person they liked.

Changing... I have tried and tried and tried that too. Honestly I dont think it will be possible. All the times with psychologist I havent really learned anything new about myself. I can point out same things myself too.

Problem is that I need to change the way I react. I need to change my intuition. And after all it's not that my intuition is just wrong. I perceive lots of things correctly and way more accurately than most.
forget this.. i dont feel like trying to make sense of it