i call my friend and ask if we could see.. she is too busy.. then my other friend calls her and she immediately cancels what ever else she had

i sit down with other people.. they talk with each other.. they answer when i ask but they just concentrate on each other

my friends wont admit there's anything wrong.. they just have all kinds of excuses why we arent in contact and why we arent close at all anymore

i guess they are afraid to say honestly how they feel

sure they would be friends with my old self.. but not with the sick me

and i dont think ill ever be that old self.. too late