Angry

Why do I even keep writing this blog?

I dont really believe that I will get better.

Mostly when I talk about being lonely I get suggested that I should go to "talk with someone else". No one really wants to talk with me themselves.

Nowadays when I see someone is online in msn messenger I just say "hi" and close the window right away. Most of time I wont get any answer anyway so no use keeping the window open.

I would think my friends know that I have now supposely very difficult time. I just feel like crawling to the corner and wait it this all is over. I think most of friends hope I do that too.

I dont know even why I keep writing "friends"... I feel totally alienated from people. Why do I actually even have my messenger on every day?

I guess I should "go out and meet new people" and "cheer up" and "fight" and so on. Why? Would it make me feel better if I would meet 10 new people who then become my friends and who then try to avoid me?