Getting More Stable

I gathered my strength and talked with H and N already...

I feel bit better now after talking but same time I just feel discouraged. I don't know really what I should think. I guess I should just accept the fact that there's not many people who would really look forward to hear about me. I do believe some people like me. I do think some people care about me. But its not that kind of caring that they would contact me and say hi or ask how I am... I mean its not kind of liking that they would take initiative.

It maybe could be compared to friends at work place. Yes you maybe like them, yes you possibly care some extent if they have had troubles. But you don't care to contact them outside work and ask if they are ok. I shouldn't expect things like that. Yes I do that myself. I contact people. I take initiative. If someone tells me that she's not feeling well, I do get worried myself. And I do ask her next day if she feels better. That's just me. I guess I'm not too normal when it comes to social things.