A Dream

I thought about writing about a dream that really puzzled me:

I was in my parents house and in living room. There was lots of people and some kind of party going on. There was also D singing karaoke in full angel armor. I cant recall the song but it was about herself. I felt I had a crush on her. She stopped singing and went to sit on wooden bench near kitchen. I approached her. She noticed me and patted on bench and said "rakastuja come sit here". I went but before I got there she turned to talk to someone else - away from me. She said "rakastuja is a nice girl who is to be kissed first and then stabbed in back".

I woke up very puzzled...

I told D about this dream but not everything in it – I felt a bit too embarrassed to tell about the crush thing. I’m don’t have crush on her in real life – or do I? I guess I shouldn’t be too sure that I don’t. I do seem to care way too much if she does or doesn’t say ‘hi’… we are not that close friends anyway. Lately she hasn’t really talked much to me. I don’t think she cares to talk much with depressed me. Its always same with people. They are nice first and promise a lot – “sure you can tell about your problems”. When you tell they start to take distance. It always seems to be that more I reveal about myself, less liked I am… :( Its so easy to give kind of impression they would like to see. They all say “you are so nice person” and I would love to scream back “but its not real me”…