Tuesday At Home

Today has been one of those useless days. I have some school work to do but I have managed to avoid them whole day. I should write some parts of project plan. I’m just feeling again completely unable to even start writing. I feel stressed even for the thought of having to do something. Having to do something that I must do soon. I know that I’m not short of time or anything – just complete lack of efficiency and motivation. In a way its good that there’s whole project group waiting me to do it. I actually cant imagine not to do it before deadline.

I have played PE a lot again today. I don’t know if it should be considered as a waste of time or not. It is fun and relaxing – time to time. But today again nothing seemed to go too well. There was one noob being rude to me and I got really upset. My hands were literally shaking and I felt ill. I just cant understand why someone is rude… why people want to intentionally hurt others… I’m really envious to those who can claim not to give a damn what someone in net says… I just feel completely defenceless against such.

Every hit hurts… :(

I should do my English home work too. I’m afraid I will be kicked out from the course if I fail to do my weekly amount of work done. Deadlines, deadlines… there’s nothing more left in my life than deadlines. I plan my life to next deadline and after it look when its next deadline.
I’m kinda worried about my current mood. I’m not depressed in same way as before. I just feel tired of all this. Today I realized that I haven’t really fantasized or masturbated for long time. I used to have sex, fantasies and dreams in my mind all the time. Now I feel kind of dull. I really would need a break from all of this.